The 2nd Anniversary of My 2nd Coming Out

There is a certain bravery that must be summoned to live and speak in truth.  LGBTQ people are often adept at walking in the world with a courage that matches the risks we have taken to be honest about who we are and whom we love.  I am in love with my queerness because in the journey of speaking and living my truth, I have found an exquisite liberation.  This fire of freedom is the passion that feeds all of my other social justice pursuits.

On this National Coming Out Day, two years ago, I came out of the closet once more.  I announced the launch of the non-profit organization Soul Force Politics.   We are a social justice movement that envisions how the world would be different if politics were rooted in radical love. 

Why did it feel like a coming out again?  Because the politics of radical, compassionate, and unconditional love for self and others is an unchartered frontier in our civic lives.  It is so new that many are unable to grasp its concepts.  And what people do not know or understand often scares them.  And with fear, comes a lot of rejection.

But I have been here before, toiling under the weight of a love that others had a hard time understanding. 

For the first half of my life, it was about being queer. 

Remarkably, consciousness shifted on that topic, and with it, our culture.  My same sex marriage is now protected equally under the law.  Many people I know never thought this would happen in our lifetimes.  I scarcely could imagine that within seven years of exchanging vows with Deborah in 2005 before our family, our friends, and our God, that we would see our home state of Maryland pass legislation that was subsequently ratified by a citizens ballot initiative to affirm LGBTQ marriage equality and that the Supreme Court of this land would soon follow suit and grant the same protections to my brothers and sisters across the country.  But it happened – in part because we dared to believe when others said it was impossible.

For the second half of my life, I carry a different, and perhaps more difficult-to-understand kind of love out of the darkness of hiding – one that is at the center of a coming cultural, emotional, economical, and political transformational shift.  This is the frequency of radical love.

Our limited vocabulary for the word “love” means that our common understanding is restricted to a type of love that we reserve for a handful of special people close to our inner lives – parents, siblings, spouses, extended families and chosen friends. 

When I talk about radical love, I am conjuring a practice that extends beyond the safe landscapes of requited relationships.  I am inviting you to explore the realm of putting love into action. 

Love is not a mere feeling, but a practice.  It is an action.  What habits of love do we bring to our thoughts, words, and deeds?  And love is a choice.   Every moment gives us an opportunity to affirm whether we give our power to fear or to love.

Navigating these choices and putting love into action is the way forward on every intractable struggle we face – from racism and white supremacy, the climate crisis, and poverty, to misogyny, xenophobia, and the inherent rights of tribal nations.  These problems first were created by the absence of love.  It is time for fear’s reign to end.

For too long, our politics have been divorced from the spirit of love.  We can change this.

Radical love is a force for radical change.   We are not called to meet the darkness of these times with our own darkness.  We are summoned to find and shine our connection to the light.  Soul Force Politics wants to partner with you on this revolutionary act. 

It is not my goal to fully share all the tenets of this work in one short essay.  I have spent the better part of the last five years untangling and understanding a vision for how we might co-create a new way.  However, if you accept my invitation to listen to our podcasts, follow us on social media, come to a retreat, and/or participate in a workshop or lecture, Soul Force Politics does offer tools and insights that will help you negotiate and master this exciting new terrain we are entering together. 

Be the change you want to see.  Create the world you want to manifest.  Break through the illusion of impossibility. Live your life’s purpose with clarity, intention, and truth.  Choose only love.  Be.  ONE.

With radical love and deep excitement for what our third year will bring,

Heather